Just wait 'til I get my hands on that Rowling woman! Wizards without hats? Or beards? And FEMALE wizards too??! I'll not have it, I tell you! I spent long enough making sure that Pratchett fellow toed the line. The last thing I need is some WOMAN mucking up the wizards! Poor old Count Vlad is still trying to sort out all that wishy washy wet Twilight vampire nonsense, poor fellow!

I say, boy! Will you KEEP UP!!